Nate Pritts |
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:Deadly Dreams: / :The Most Dangerous Earth of All: / :Runaway Room: / :Hedging: / :World’s Finest: / :Battle Against the Bodiless Uniform: |
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:Deadly Dreams: Each of my friends has crazy-whack dreams: Green dreams himself into a field, one hundred thousand blades of grass relying on him; Red dreams he is a fish; my female friend dreams of flying free through the air, no visible plane to separate her from sky; Blue claims his dreams are completely realistic, & offer him neither release or solace; my dream is of a giant gladiator, fist cocked to knock me into next week but who never moves, a constant threat to keep me in line. ** :The Most Dangerous Earth of All: On account of his earnest & up-standing nature, his do-good intentions, Green often finds himself at war with himself. He described it to me once: “It is like I have two brains in my head, one that tells me to build a bridge that helps orphans get the medical treatment they need & one that tells me just blow up the whole city my ex-girlfriend lives in.” Times like this, my friend Green freaks me out a little bit. He says, “We are living on the most dangerous Earth of all!” & then pulls his fist back to hit himself square in his own square jaw. Uncertain of the outcome, I always leave him to himself, hopeful that we’ll end up on a safer Earth someday.
*** :Runaway Room: What I hate is when my friends & I are all having a serious conversation about appropriately serious subjects when—out of nowhere—the floor of the room rips itself out of the building & hurtles into orbit above the Earth, creating too vast a distance for us to bridge. **** :Hedging: Because of our recent difficulties, my friends & I have explored the possibility of renting a house somewhere together, somewhere we can be on our own & undisturbed, & not have to worry about break away rooms. The rental agent had the kind of eyes that pierce into the very soul. He said, “I have a warehouse you may find suitable.” But when we quibbled over the price (too high for us, simple friends wanting to spend time together), he looked at us & made us ashamed we hadn’t offered all we could. ***** :World’s Finest: Green & Red are always getting into fights, with each other as well as with anything that gets in their paths. But they’re the first to get into trouble too. Their actions land them in hot water more often than you might think. My friend in blue has to fly in to save them every time. It might be natural for Red & Green to grow resentful of Blue, who is always having to bail them out. Instead, they seem grateful that he’s around to break people’s arms, to deflect thrown rocks, to poke out the eyes in the giant green face that giggles at us all when we mess up. Blue, however, thinks about leaving their skinny asses in a sling one of these days. ****** :Battle Against the Bodiless Uniform: After one tiring day of doing nothing with my friends, I came home, threw my clothes onto the bed & got right into the shower. After I got out, I saw what looked like me lying in bed already: my clothes laid out exactly as if I was in them! I took advantage of this rare chance to tell myself a thing or two.
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